The Relationship Isn't the Problem. The Pattern Is.

Most couples come to therapy believing they know what the problem is. They'll tell me it's about communication. Or parenting. Or intimacy. Or finances. Or trust. Sometimes those things absolutely matter. But over time, I've noticed something. The topic changes much more often than the pattern does. The relationship usually isn't struggling because of one conversation. It's struggling because the same emotional dance keeps happening underneath every conversation.